Babies and Toddlers

So, sometimes I get sucked into the sensational stuff. I hate it, but it's true. I try to avoid stories that attract a lot of media hype, but sometimes I can't help myself. I hate reality TV, too, but I watch Hell's Kitchen.

I'm saying all this to hopefully excuse myself from what I am about to write. Yes, it is about the octuplet mom, Nadya Suleman.

Conservative talk show host Bill Handel in Los Angeles called for people to boycott any companies that support the octuplet mom. While searching the internet for his comments, I discovered scores of bloggers and other personalities calling for the same thing. Hmmm.

I wonder how these people with their noble boycott who are seeking to harm the octuplet mom will avoid harming the octuplets? After all, is it their fault their mom made some irresponsible decisions?

And we can argue all day about that, whether Nadya Suleman was irresponsible when she had six children through IVF, even though she was unmarried. We can argue all week about whether or not she was irresponsible when she chose to have eight more embryos implanted at the same time.

Our conclusions don't change the fact that she does not have 14 very expensive puppies to take care of. These are BABIES. A boycott is not going to harm their mother as much as it will harm them.

Is that what these morally upstanding boycotters are trying to accomplish? Their mom dared to have them, so by God, we'll make sure their lives are miserable, poverty stricken and filled with neglect! Yay for us! We sure showed those babies! We don't tolerate irresponsible acts of being born, not in the USA!

I can't help but draw another very obvious parallel. Obvious to me, maybe not obvious to the likes of Bill Handel, who by the way is pro-life.

What does Bill Handel think should have been done with the octuplet mom's leftover embryos? Certainly not destroyed. Definitely not donated to stem cell research.

That's a pattern I see in almost everyone who is "pro life," by the way (and I am against abortion myself, though I don't think it should be illegal). They support the unborn, but not the born. Their interest in the subject ends after the child comes into the world. Protect the unborn, but after birth you're on your own, you kid whose mom wasn't emotionally or financially prepared to have a baby.

But I digress. Yes, Nadya Suleman was irresponsible, bringing that many babies into the world as a single mom. She's going to have a tough time looking after 14 children, no question.

But let's not forget that children do not choose their moms. Those children deserve the best shot at a happy life that their mom—or all those diaper, formula and baby wipes companiesm—can give them. Boycotting them and everyone who helps them is nothing short of mean-spirited.

I'm sorry that Suleman will profit from those media deals or freebies from baby-product companies (or will shem—doubtless all the money and freebies she gets will go directly to her massive childcare and medical expenses, without a lot leftover for parties and fancy dresses). But let's not forget that you can't boycott the irresponsible mom without boycotting the babies.

Posted by Becki Robins at 02:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Even if you don't believe in God, It's hard not to look back on Trevor Kott's short life and get a sense that something greater than all of us had a hand in it.

Trevor was diagnosed with a rare form of congenital leukemia shortly after birth. His doctors had little hope for him; his parents, Bob and Angela Kott, were told that he had only a few weeks to live.

But little Trevor didn't seem to hear his doctors. The little boy with no hope bravely endured five rounds of chemotherapy and emerged on the other side a happy, chubby six-month-old whose smile was the sun in stormy skies. But tragically, the chemo wasn't enough to save Trevor's life. To do that, the doctors needed to give Trevor a bone marrow transplant, and Trevor had a rare tissue type. There was no matching donor in the international bone marrow registries, and no donor could be found despite a nationwide search. Trevor died on April 25, 2007.

On the surface, Trevor's story seems like a horrible tragedy. Knowing only the basic outline of Trevor's short life, a person might be tempted to ask, "Where is the sense in it? Why should a family like the Kotts have to endure such hardship in the effort to save their baby boy's life, and have it all be for nothing?"

But if you get a little closer to the story, it starts to become clear. It wasn't all for nothing. Visit the weblog the Kotts set up in honor of their son, and you'll see something amazing. 55,000 visitors. 1,400 entries in the guestbook, and growing. Page after page of messages from people who never even met the Kotts: "Because of Trevor, I am now a member of the National Bone Marrow Registry." "Trevor taught me to be a better parent." "Trevor taught me never to take one moment with my children for granted." Poetry in Trevor's memory. Messages of love and comfort. Proof that no matter how bad things get in this world, love will always prevail, even in the hearts of strangers.

If you look back at all the events that conspired to make Trevor's life what it was, it's almost hard to believe that they haven't been fictionalized. Trevor was born with a very rare and usually fatal illness, one that affects just one in 5 million births. He could have been cured by a bone marrow transplant, but to go with his rare illness he also had a rare tissue type, and no donor could be found. He could have died in anonymity a few weeks after his birth, but he held on for six months, long enough for thousands of people all over the world to hear his story. He could have had an extended and uncomfortable death, but when his time came, he went quickly and peacefully, in the arms of people who loved him beyond measure. Now, even the most hard-hearted atheist has to admit, there really seems to have been some design to Trevor's life.

Because of tiny Trevor Kott, more than 5,000 people have joined the National Bone Marrow Registry in California alone. And although Trevor is gone, drives are still being held in his name. In the brief time that Trevor was able to spend in this world, he accomplished more than most of us do in an average adult lifetime. And if he did all of that without the hand of God, well, that just makes his accomplishments even more remarkable.

Posted by Becki Robins at 02:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)